They never taught us how to be a dad in Ninja school!
by king julian
Summary: Miroku, Sango, and Inuyasha are all ninjas. Sango and Miroku have a strange partnership but when Sango finds out she is pregnant everything changes. They have to go on one last important mission; they have to keep a gem away from evil. Miroku is constantly thinking about the baby, Sango denys it, and Inuyasha meets Kagome, the only one who can destroy the gem, and falls in love.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own inuyasha or any of it's characters!**

**A/N: Okay so, I'm really excited about this story, it's really different but i hope you like it! Please review, tell me what you think(:**

**xoxoxo**

"You know, Miroku, you're the worst partner ever!" Sango yelled as she cut down a few vines with her katanna. Miroku wandered behind her laughing, "Why, Sango, I have the map! You'd be lost without me!" Sango growled.

They continued to walk in the forest until the found the temple. Sango quickly turned around and told Miroku to be quiet. He handed her the black cloth and took his own, and they wrapped it around their heads. They were already wearing their ninja's outfits except for the head piece. Once they finished the snuck into the temple. It wasn't being guarded, which was odd.

"Sango, this way." Miroku pointed down a hallway and started to walk, Sango followed closely behind. The entered a giant room that was empty except for a podium that held a green gem. "That's it!" Miroku whispered and continued walking. He was quickly ambushed by the enemies. He began to fight them off, doing flips and kicks. He took the three men out and then turned around to Sango, smiling but, his expression quickly changed and he yelled, "Sango watch out!" but it was too late. Another man had come up behind Sango and knocked her out.

Miroku quickly flipped over to them and punched the guy right in the face. 'Jeez, Sango! What kind of ninja can't even sense another's presence…?' Miroku thought leaving Sango on the ground and walking over to the gem. He grabbed it and put it in his pocket. He pulled out his cell phone, "Inuyasha. We're ready. Fly overhead. Oh and Sango's knocked out." Miroku shut his phone and then picked up Sango and put her over his shoulder and started to walk out of the temple.

He got back to the outside, in the jungle, and saw the helicopter flying overhead. The ladder fell and he grabbed onto it. He started to climb and then yelled out, "Dammit Sango! You're so fat!" Sango groaned and pinched him. "Oh now you're awake!" Miroku yelled. "Oh shut the hell up, Miroku! You are so annoying!" Sango yelled as the entered the helicopter.

"Put me down!" "Not until I do this…" Miroku grinned mischievously and then squeezed Sango's ass, which was right next to his face. Sango screamed and then started to squirm. Miroku put her down and then she slapped him right on the face. "Dammit Miroku!" Sango yelled.

They both took off their ninja mask and grabbed the head phones and put them on. Sango went to the front of the helicopter and sat in the co-pilot seat. "Ah, nice to see you awake Sango." Inuyasha muttered keeping his eyes on the sky. Miroku came up behind Sango's chair and wrapped his arms around her.

"Miroku go away." Sango growled. "Babe, I only want to love on you." Miroku cooed, rubbed his head into her neck. "Miroku, I seriously hate you so much." Sango mumbled pushing him off of her. Miroku frowned, "If you hate me so much then why did you give me a blowjob last night?" Miroku smirked. Sango gasped and turned around to look at Miroku. Inuyasha busted out laughing, "So _that's_ what was going on last night!"

"You're an idiot!" Sango yelled, got up, and started to push Miroku to the back of the helicopter. Once he was out of the control room she quickly went back in and closed the door and locked it. "Sango! Baby, I love you!" Miroku yelled pounded at the door. Inuyasha started to laugh again and Sango huffed.

Inuyasha began to talk into the radio to the headquarters informing them that they would be landing soon. Miroku, Inuyasha and Sango have been attending the secret ninja school since they were young, they were all orphans and a ninja master took them in. Now, they have graduated from their ninja school and were always on missions that the headquarters gave them. The school and headquarters were connected and they were both in a secret village in the mountains. The three of them were just one of many teams at the ninja headquarters but they were one of the best.

Inuyasha landed the helicopter on the roof of the HQ building. The three ninjas got off the vehicle and went down inside the building. They all walked into the head office, Miroku handed the gem over to the boss, Sesshomaru. He took it with grace and put it in a glass box. "What's the big shit with that gem anyways, Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha asked.

"This gem is very dangerous if in the wrong hands. Your next assignment will be to return the gem to the guardian that it belongs to. They must dispose of it the right way. Once that is down you will have completely your mission. You all leave tomorrow at dawn." Sesshomaru bowed and lead them out.

"We never get a break around here!" Inuyasha muttered as the three walked out of the HQ building. They walked to their living quarters which weren't very far. They all shared a space (like a dorm or apartment).

"Well, we are ninjas, what do you expect." Miroku muttered. Sango lagged behind the two, in deep thought. Miroku noticed this and turned around, "Sango, what's up?" Sango perked up and looked at Miroku, "Oh nothing! Just tired, that's all."

The group returned to their space and Inuyasha began to make the ramen, they ate almost every night. Miroku laid on the couch and watched TV and Sango went straight to the bathroom. She got out a pregnancy test she bought last week. She already tested one but she wanted to be sure so she got another for later, which was now. Sango waited.

"Oi Miroku, Here's your ramen." Inuyasha brought two cups of ramen to the living room area. He sat down on the ground and started to slurp his ramen while Miroku ate his slowly. Sango suddenly screamed from the bathroom.

"What's her problem…?" Inuyasha muttered. "She probably realized how messy her hair looks…" Miroku mumbled. Sango stomped out of the bathroom, "You idiot!" Miroku looked up at her and yelled, "What did I do?!" Sango threw a tiny, white, stick thingy at Miroku's face and then walked away into her room.

Miroku Picked up the stick and looked at it. He dropped his cup of ramen on the floor and stared at the stick in shock. "Oh shit!" Inuyasha tried to get a look at what Miroku saw but he couldn't see it. "What is it Miroku?"

"She's pregnant…"


	2. Chapter 2

It was now four in the morning and Sango was lying on the couch, Miroku was kneeling next to her belly talking to it, and Inuyasha was packing loads of ramen into his bag. "Uncle Inuyasha! Come on, let's gooooo." Miroku sang in a baby voice, still talking to Sango's belly. "Stop talking like that dammit!" Sango yelled clenching her fist. "Okay, I'm ready." Inuyasha said grabbing his bags and opening the door. Sango jumped of the couch, grabbed her bags and ran to the door; she was excited to get away from Miroku.

"Babe, let me carry your bags. Don't want to hurt the baby." Miroku winked and took Sango's bags. She was frozen, just staring at him as he walked off. Inuyasha laughed and walked behind Miroku. Sango got herself together and followed.

They went into the office at HQ and got the paper work and went straight to the helicopter. "I missed you, sexy." Inuyasha purred, petting the helicopter. The three entered the helicopter and put on the headphones then went to the front. Inuyasha got in the pilot seat, Sango in the co-pilot seat, and Miroku just stood behind Sango.

30 minutes went by and it was silent. "So babe, how big are you going to want the wedding?" Miroku asked out of nowhere. Sango slowly turned around to him and glared, "We are not getting married." "Why not? You're going to look adorable in a wedding dress, especially with the baby bump you'll have." Miroku grinned and poked Sango's nose. "Why would we." Sango turned back to face the front. "Well we have a little one on the way so, why not now!" Miroku cheered. "Just because you got me pregnant doesn't mean you have to marry me you little shit." Sango sighed. She knew he loved her and she loved him as well but, they never really thought that labels were nessesary and she didn't want him to marry her just because of the baby, she wanted him to want it, for them.

"Sango! I am not little! C'mon, let's get married baby cakes." Miroku whined. "If you think this counts as a proposal then you must be stupider than I thought." Sango muttered. Miroku sighed and decided to give up for at least now. "Well this is awkward." Inuyasha muttered. "When are we landing?" Miroku asked. "In about four seconds." Inuyasha grinned and then dived down onto a roof top.

"A mansion?" Sango asked as they got off the helicopter. "Yeah apparently the guardian lives here, rich people…" Inuyasha muttered. They walked down to the stair case and they were greeted by servants. They followed them down all the way to the second floor where a woman greeted them.

"Hello I'm Kagome. You must be the ninjas with the gem, right?" Kagome asked. Inuyasha blushed and stuttered, "Uh, y-yes that's u-us." He handed her the gem, "So um, you gotta get rid of it." Inuyasha pulled himself together.

"I will, as soon as I can." Kagome handed the gem to another woman, Kikyo. "Sister, please take the gem and put it in the box I showed you early." "I shall." Kikyo left. "What! Do it now!" Inuyasha yelled. "I can't. It can only be done on the full moon." Kagome said then started walking away. The three followed her, "So we have to stay here for a month?!" Inuyasha yelled. "Sorry." Kagome smiled, "I'll show you to your rooms." Kagome took them to a hallway with three rooms that were right next to each other. After they got settled they all went into the dining hall for lunch. "Miss Kagome, are there any doctors nearby?" Miroku said. "Why is that? Are you sick?" Kagome asked, worried. "Oh no. Don't worry, dear, It's just that my fiancée over there is pregnant and I want to get her to a doctor." Miroku motioned over to Sango who was about ready to rip his head off.

"Miroku! I'm not going to a doctor! And we still aren't getting married!" Sango yelled. "Oh you're pregnant! How exciting! Congratulations!" Kagome cheered. Inuyasha decided to make a move but he was still nervous, "You know, Kagome, I could get you pregnant…" He winked and then realized what he said and sweat dropped. Sango gasped, Miroku laughed, and Kagome ignored him, thinking he was an idiot and responded to Miroku's earlier question, "I can get my servants to schedule an appointment for you." Miroku thanked Kagome and they quietly ate their lunch.

Afterwards Inuyasha, Sango and Miroku were having a group meeting in Inuyasha's room. It was a very important, top secret meeting, according to Inuyasha. "So what is it, Inuyasha?" Miroku asked sitting in a chair. "Yeah, did you get some news from HQ?" Sango asked, jumping on to Inuyasha's bed. "Well, no. Here's the deal…I need a night light. I'm afraid of the dark." Inuyasha muttered sheepishly. Miroku and Sango sweat dropped. "We can go to the store and get you one after Sango's appointment." Miroku answered. "What appointment!" Sango yelled. "Babe! You have to go! I'll knock you out if I have to! Fucking bitch." Miroku muttered.

Sango rolled her eyes and sigh. "Let's go." Miroku glared at Sango. Sango flipped him off and they all left the room. They went to the first floor of the mansion and got the keys to a car from a servant. They all headed into Tokyo. This wasn't their first time here so, it wasn't anything new, really.

OoOoOo

"Sango dammit! Unfold your arms and let the guy put that shit on your belly!" Miroku yelled. Sango was laying on a table in an ultrasound room. She wouldn't let the nurse put the jelly on her belly so, they were getting nowhere. Sango sighed and finally let him do what he had to do.

"Do you hear the heart beat?" The nurse asking smiled. "I don't care." Sango muttered. Miroku on the other hand was smiling and on the verge of tears, "This is amazing!" "So, it seems that you are five months along…would you like to know the sex of the baby?" The nurse asked. "Five months!" Miroku shouted, "Why didn't you tell me!" Sango growled, "I didn't find out till last week you moron."

"Whatever. But yes, we want to know the sex." Miroku answered. The nurse looked at Sango and she shrugged. The nurse took that as an 'I don't care' so he looked as the screen and moved the tool around her belly a bit until he could finally see it. "It's a boy!"

"Hell yes!" Miroku shouted pulling his fist down and bringing his knee up. Sango rolled her eyes.

OoOoOo

Inuyasha put his night light on the wall and turned it on to check if it worked. Sango knocked on his door and he let her in. "Nice light, pussy." Sango joked as she walked into his room and cuddled into his bed. "Let's watch a movie." Sango said when she got comfortable. "Where's Miroku?" Inuyasha asked as he picked up the remote and turned on the TV. "Who cares? That idiot." Sango mumbled.

"Sango, do you really not want to marry him?" Inuyasha asked not bothering to look at her. Sango sighed, "Ugh, I don't know. I was happy where we were but, now I'm pregnant and he thinks things need to change. I wouldn't have minded if he proposed to me before but, now I know he's only doing it for the baby…" Sango trailed off. "Well maybe he's not… Maybe he wanted to before but he didn't think you'd agree and so now he thinks this is the perfect excuse for you to say yes…" Inuyasha said deciding on the movie, 21 jump street.

"Miroku! Get your ass over here!" Inuyasha yelled. Miroku ran in the room, "What?!" "We're watching a movie babe." Sango answered. Miroku smiled, Sango hasn't been this sweet to him in a while, and walked over to the bed and cuddled with Sango. Inuyasha got in the bed too but, wasn't cuddling.

"What are we watching?" Miroku asked. "21 jump street." Inuyasha answered. "Inuyasha, why don't you invite Kagome to come watch it with us." Sango asked. "Because you two are here, which means you'll probably start having sex and I'll have to leave anyways." Inuyasha smirked. Sango laughed and then rolled onto Miroku and started humping him, "You mean like this?" She winked at Inuyasha and Inuyasha glared, "And like this?" Miroku grinned and then cupped Sango's breast, and unfortunately for her, she wasn't wearing a bra at the time because she was wearing her PJs. Sango stopped and got off of Miroku, and blushed. She slapped him across the face and Inuyasha laughed.

"I seriously hate you guys." Inuyasha sighed. "Call her here. If you do we promise we won't have sex until we go into Miroku's room!" Sango laughed. "Fine." Inuyasha grabbed the phone in the room and dialed the four digit number Kagome gave them in case they needed her. "Um hey Kagome… Are you busy?... Really? Well were watching a movie and if you want you should watch it with us… Oh okay cool." Inuyasha hung up the phone and paused the movie.

"Is she coming?" Miroku asked. Inuyasha nodded and Sango and Miroku cheered. "Let's celebrate baby!" Miroku yelled and Sango nodded and they both went under the covers and started making sexual noises. "Stop! You lied to me you sickos!" Inuyasha yelled throwing pillows at them. Sango and Miroku emerged from under the blanket and pretended to be panting and out of breathe.

"God, Miroku that was amazing!" Sango yelled. "MMMM Babe! You're so good at it!" Miroku yelled even louder. Inuyasha reached over and punched Miroku on the head. "Shhh! She's coming!" Inuyasha whispered. Kagome entered the room, and waved, "Hey guys! What are we watching?" She sat down next to Inuyasha on the bed. "Uh um 21 jump street." Inuyasha smiled shyly. Kagome nodded and smiled. They started the movie and watched it.

OoOoOo

They all fell asleep on the bed, during the movie. Suddenly the window opened and two men came in, dressed in all black. Unfortunately for those idiots, one tripped over the coffee table causing a loud noise. The group of four woke up at once, and Kagome screamed, Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku got up and started to fight with the skills they were taught. Sango had just punched one of the guys when Miroku pushed her back and yelled, "You can't fight babe, Think of the baby!" Miroku snickered. Sango got really pissed off and knocked Miroku on the head with a packet of ramen she found on the ground. Miroku stumbled back to look at Sango with a glare.

The enemy just stared, watching the partners fight each other, he was laughing. Miroku pinched Sango on her arm and she screamed, "Miroku! Think of the baby!" She was obviously mocking him and she then punched his right arm. Miroku growled and picked up Sango and threw her on the bed. He went back to the enemy, who was still laughing, and knocked him out. Inuyasha finished off the other one and they took their bodies and threw them out the window.

"Well, you'll have to excuse us; we have to finish some business." Miroku said grabbing Sango by the hand and dragging her out of the room and into his room. After a few minutes Kagome and Inuyasha could hear moaning coming from their room.

"Is this how they always make up?" Kagome asked laughing. "Well, lately, they have sex while their still mad at each other, it's very violent sex too, but it's only been like that for a couple of months now…hmm… It's probably because she's pregnant…. It all makes sense now!" Inuyasha yelled. Kagome laughed.

"Dammit Miroku go harder!" They heard Sango yelled. "Well, I'm going to go to bed… I'm sorry you have to listen to this but, if you want a different room, you can go to the other side of this hallway and just pick one." Kagome smiled and bowed. She was just about to leave when they heard, "Oh god Sango! I'm still mad at you! Oh shit this is so good!"

Inuyasha and Kagome giggled again. Kagome then walked out and left Inuyasha alone to be torched by the noise. He walked over to the wall and pounded on it, "Hey shut the fuck up!"

**A/N: I know the characters are a little OOC but hopefully they aren't too bad... I just wanted to make it a little more funny. Please tell me what you think and thanks for reading! (:**

**xoxoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

OoOoOo

Miroku into the dining area and sat at the table across from Inuyasha. "Where's Sango?" Miroku asked as he grabbed a bagel. "She threw up while you were in the shower masturbating so, I told her to go back to bed." Inuyasha answered while eating his ramen. "I'll have you know, I was not masturbating. I have a woman for that." Miroku muttered. "Sango isn't your 'woman for that'. And you're horny all the time so, don't even play cool." Inuyasha glared.

Miroku sighed, "Anyways, don't you find it suspicious that those two men last night came in through your room? They were obviously after Kagome but, how did they know she was there and not in her room… This must have somebody on the inside…" Inuyasha thought about it for a moment and nodded, "You're right… We should sneak around the mansion and see if we can find anything…"

Miroku nodded and then stood up and grabbed a bagel and wrapped it up. "And where are you going?!" Inuyasha yelled. "I'm going to go see my love, you idiot." Miroku said as a matter-of-fact. "You mean Sango's ass?" Inuyasha laughed. Miroku glared at him, "No. I know you couldn't possibly understand loving a woman with all your heart so; I'll forgive you for that comment. I will be back soon." Miroku began to walk away and Inuyasha huffed and muttered a 'whatever pervert'.

Miroku walked into Sango's room not bothering to knock on the door. "Sango baby," Miroku started singing with the rhythm of 'Santa baby', "Would you like this chocolate bagel? I know you like them, I picked it out with love just for youuuuuuu." Miroku hopped onto her bed and pushed his body against the back of hers. "Sango did you not like my song?" Miroku pouted.

"Miroku, I don't feel very well right now." Sango whined. "Babe, I'm sorry, do you want me to bring you anything?" Miroku put the bagel down behind him and started running his fingers through Sango's hair. "No," Sango sounded like she was crying but Miroku knew she wasn't. She rolled over to her other side to face Miroku and then buried her head into his chest. Miroku wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

"Sango, is it your belly?" Miroku asked and Sango shook her head, "I just feel nausea, dizzy and, weak," Sango rolled onto her back and pulled the covers off of herself, "But look," She pulled up her shirt to show Miroku her belly. "Hey! You actually look pregnant now!" Miroku smiled and started to rub his hand on her belly. After a minute he moved his hand to cup her cheek, "Inuyasha and I are going to look around the mansion because, we've decided the enemy has someone on the inside. You stay here and rest, I'll be back when we finish." Miroku kissed her nose and then got out of the bed; he grabbed the bagel and put it on the table, and went over to the wind and closed the curtains. Miroku was just about to walk out of the room when Sango stopped him, "Wait, Miroku, bring the trashcan over here." Miroku brought it over next to her and she took it and threw up. Miroku winced and instantly felt bad for getting her pregnant.

Miroku stepped out of Sango's room and bumped into Inuyasha. "Hey watch where you're going pervert! What the hell took you so long!" Miroku shushed him and pulled him out of the hallway. "Calm down. Where should we start?" Miroku asked looking around. "Let's ask Kagome to see if she knows anything." Inuyasha said. Miroku lifted up an eyebrow and grinned pervertedly, "You just want to see her." "Feh! Shut up!" Inuyasha growled walking away.

They walked around until they finally found Kagome in the library. "Lady Kagome, could we ask you something?" Miroku said as they sat next to her at a table. "Of course what is it?" Kagome put her book down and gave them her full attention. "Do you think anyone here in this mansion might be undercover?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome froze and then thought, "Hmm well, my sister Kikyo, might be… She's always been jealous of me because I was the guardian and not her. About a year ago she left us and then few months back she returned… We didn't question her though." "Is she here today?" Inuyasha asked, "No, she left this morning and won't be back for three weeks…" Kagome sighed. "Well, at least she won't know what's going on in here then…" Miroku sighed. "Well, on a different matter, we'll be leaving in two weeks." Kagome said. "Huh?" Inuyasha mumbled. "To destroy the gem we have to go up into the mountains, to a special water fall. I won't say much of the process now but, we will have to camp out there for a week, just to make sure that we don't miss the full moon." Kagome explained smiling.

The boys nodded, "Well, excuse us, Kagome, but, we have to go check on Sango." Inuyasha tried to sound as cool as possible. "Oh what's wrong with Sango? Is she okay?" Kagome asked. "She's just being pregnant… you know… pregnant things…" Miroku was trying to sound smart but failed terribly. Kagome nodded, understanding.

Miroku and Inuyasha were running down the halls yelling "WOOT WOOT WOOT!" They ran into Sango's room and sang as loud as possible, "Let's get down to business, to defeat, the huns! Did they send us daughters, when we asked, for sons." They continued to sing until Sango sat up from her bed and yelled, "GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW! I FEEL LIKE YOU SHIT ASSHOLES!" Inuyasha and Miroku froze, looked at each other and ran out, fighting to get out of the door first.

"Miroku, we have officially lost Sango, to her own demons…" Inuyasha sighed disappointedly. Miroku agreed and the two walked into a media room.

OoOoOo

"Wake up, wake up, I'm gonna touch your butt." Miroku sang in Sango's ear. She decided to ignore him so he grabbed her butt, and she slapped him. "Pervert! What are you even doing in my bed! When did you get here!" Sango yelled, they both sat up and, Miroku answered calmly, "Well, baby cakes, I was worried about you last night so I came in here to sleep with you." Sango growled. "But I see you're feeling better now…" She growled even louder. "Oh you want to be a kitty? Meeeoooowwww, Sango." Miroku winked at her and gave her a sexy face. Sango blushed and then started to beat him. "Sango! Think of the baby!" Miroku yelled laughing.

Sango stopped punching him and sighed. "Sango dear, I feel you have a lot of anger, you should meditate like me." Miroku grinned. "Why would I want to meditate with you? Just being next to you makes me angry." Sango muttered. Miroku crossed his arms, closed his eyes and, huffed, "Tu eres un bitcho." Sango glared and punch him right in the balls. Miroku screamed, "Oh gods! What the fuck Sango! This is too far you fucking crazy bitch!"

Sango started giggling, and then laughing. She couldn't stop laughing, she even started crying. She was gasping for air while still laughing, she thought she was going to die from laughter. Inuyasha ran into the room to see what the commotion was about, "What… the… hell…" He saw Sango laughing like an idiot who should be put in asylum, and Miroku who was grabbing his balls and screaming in pain. Inuyasha quietly backed out and tried to remove the image from his head.


	4. Chapter 4

OoOoOo

12 days later

"Okay, guys, this is really awkward." Inuyasha muttered. "Yeah, Miroku, you're making Inuyasha uncomfortable." Sango poked Miroku's chest angrily. "Watch it, woman." Miroku growled glaring at her. Sango rolled her eyes and scooted away from him. "I'm leaving." Miroku huffed and stood up and left.

"Damn, Sango! What did you do to him?" Inuyasha asked. "Nothing… I just stuck a banana up his ass while he was sleeping last night…" Sango mumbled. Inuyasha gave her a disgusted look. "He walked into my shower last night!" Sango yelled in defense. "It's not like he hasn't seen you naked before…" Inuyasha whispered. Sango glared, got up, and left.

She went back to her room and laid in her bed. She moved her fingers over her belly. 'I wonder why my belly is so small… I don't this is normal…' Suddenly a crash came from Miroku's room. Sango growled and clenched her fist, 'He has a girl in his room?' She then heard Miroku grunt, she knew the difference between his sexual grunt and fighting grunt and, this was definitely a fighting grunt.

She quickly got up and ran out of her room and into the hallway, she saw about 20 men I Miroku's room, and then Inuyasha ran into her and yelled, "Sango! Go get Kagome! We need to leave now. We'll meet you at the cottage." "What cottage! What the hell, Inuyasha!" Sango yelled. "Kagome knows, now go get her!" Sango nodded then ran off into the direction of Kagome's room.

She ran into the room and Kagome was reading a book at her desk, "Sango, is something wrong?" "We need to go now! They're here for you!" Sango yelled and grabbed Kagome's arm and they ran out the room. "Where are we going?" Kagome asked as they ran, "Inuyasha said something about a cottage?" Sango asked looking back at her; she then bumped into a man.

"Sango…" "Naraku…" Sango muttered, then pulled at the dagger she kept in her sleeve, she raised it up and aimed for his chest but he hit with his forearm, flipped the dagger and shoved it in her arm. Sango ignored the dagger in her arm and kicked him in the balls as a last resort. He fell down and Sango and Kagome took this as a chance to run.

They ran outside and Kagome led Sango into the forest. They ran for a few minutes until they knew they weren't being followed. "Sango, shouldn't you take that out of your arm?" Kagome asked. Sango looked down at her arm, she had completely forgotten about it. She pulled it out like it was nothing and put it back in her sleeve. Kagome stared at her and she just shrugged. "C'mon, I'll show you to where the cottage is."

Sango followed Kagome for a good half hour. They finally reached the cottage that was hidden in the forest. They entered it and sat on the couch. "This place is for emergencies. It's hidden by a barrier but, don't worry, Inuyasha knows how to get past it. I showed him. Now, let me bandage your arm." Kagome got a first aid kit from behind the couch and Sango took off her sweater, (she had a bra on) her arm was dripping blood. Kagome took some alcohol and poured it onto her arm. Sango winced, "Sorry, Sango." Kagome frowned; she then wrapped the bandages around her arm. Sango thanked her and put her sweater back on.

The boys finally showed up 20 minutes later. They brought their bags and Sango's bags. They also got the bag Kagome had packed for the trip to the waterfall. They also had the gem. "We got them out of your mansion but, they will come back so might as well stay here. We have to go to the waterfall in a few days anyways." Inuyasha sighed. Everyone agreed they would stay here.

They cottage was only one big room, it had a couch next to the door, it had a small kitchen and table on one side and on the other side, where two large beds. It was most definitely a down grade from the mansion.

They decided that the girls would share one bed and the boys would share the other. For the rest of the day the group did nothing. Inuyasha and Kagome had their own private conversations because Miroku and Sango were still mad at each other.

"So what should we eat?" Kagome asked, it was already dark outside and no one suggested anything for food yet. "I could probably cook something from the stuff in the kitchen," Sango shrugged. "No. You're cooking sucks ass." Miroku said coldly. Sango looked over at him, hurt, but he didn't even notice. "Um, I could make Inuyasha's ramen. I'm sure he brought some…" Sango suggested, looking at Kagome who nodded and smiled. Miroku looked at Sango right in the eye, "Did you not hear me? You cannot cook to save your life. Whatever you make taste like shit. Inuyasha can cook it." Sango raised an eyebrow at him, "Whatever Miroku. You have a small dick, so shut the fuck up."

Miroku growled at her and looked away. "Uh, I'll cook the ramen, then." Inuyasha said going into the kitchen. They all ate in silence, Miroku was really pissed off and Inuyasha and Kagome didn't want to make him even madder. "This taste awful." Miroku muttered. Inuyasha looked at him and yelled, "Can't you and Sango just have sex already and then make up! Dammit you stupid pervert!"

Sango and Miroku growled. They glared at each other. After dinner Miroku laid in one bed and Sango in the other. Inuyasha and Kagome were in the kitchen cleaning and whispering, "They seem really mad, do you think they'll make up?" Kagome asked as she dried a plate. "I don't know. Usually they just have sex and then they forgive each other after that. But I don't know. This morning he called her 'woman' and he only does that when he's extremely pissed off." Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

Later that night they were all asleep. Meanwhile Sango was having a nightmare…

_She was six again. She held her baby brother, Kohaku, in her arms. "Mama? Papa?" She called out but no one responded. Her parents order her to stay in the closet and protect herself and her brother. She cracked the door and took a peek out. She saw him._

_Naraku._

_He saw her and said, "Don't ever cross me and this won't happen to you." His voice was cold and pure evil. She watched him as he twisted her father's head off. She screamed and cried. She saw her mother on the floor already dead. He had decapitated her too. She cried and ran out of the closet, with her brother still in her arms. _

_"Why did you do this to mama and papa?" She looked up at Naraku with teary eyes. Sango put her brother down on the ground, and ran over to her mother. Naraku picked up Sango and held her; it would've been comforting except she knew he was their killer. _

_"Do not worry, darling. This is a lesson to you. Do not cross me like you idiot parents." His tone was harsh. He dropped her on the ground and left. _

_She walked over back to Kohaku, who was only 2 and confused; she grabbed him and started crying. Suddenly, the door of the abandon hotel opened, she saw a boy._

_It was the 11 year old Miroku._

_"Master! There's a girl and a boy!" He yelled. _

_He walked toward Sango and held out his hand, "Don't worry, I'll be your friend forever. You can trust me." Sango shook her head, tears streaming down her face._

_"I promise." _

Sango woke up with tears in her eyes. She looked around and saw Miroku sitting up at the side of his bed. He was praying, like he does every night. She got up from her bed and walked over to Miroku; she got on her knees and put her head in his lap. She cried softly, Miroku looked down at her, instantly knowing what happened.

"Miroku, I'm so sorry!" She sobbed; her tears sank into Miroku's pants. Miroku brushed her hair behind her ear; "Shhh, Shhh, Sango, don't be sorry," Miroku pulled her up and sat on his lap face him. His lap was in between her legs. She cried into his chest and he rubbed her back. "Sango, I love you, so much." Miroku picked her up and they went outside.

They sat against the cottage and Sango leaned on his shoulder. "Call your brother." Miroku stated. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed his number; it was only 11 so he should answer. He handed the phone to Sango, and she handed it back to him. He put it on speaker.

"Hello? Miroku?" Kohaku asked.

"Hey Kohaku sorry for calling you this late but Sango missed you." Miroku answered and nudged Sango.

"H-hey Kohaku, how are you?" Sango asked, her voice shaking.

"Sis, are you crying?"

"N-no. How are you? How is everything back home?" Kohaku also lived in the ninja village but they didn't see each other much.

"It's good Sango, I miss you though. How are you?"

"I'm okay," Miroku poked Sango's belly, she never got the chance to tell Kohaku she was expecting, "Kohaku, I have some exciting news for you." Miroku smiled.

"Oh, What is it?" Kohaku asked, obviously excited.

"I'm pregnant…" Sango said shyly.

They could almost feel Kohaku's smile over the phone, "Really! That's so cool! I can't wait until I get to meet my nephew!" Kohaku cheered.

Sango laughed, a filling laugh, and Miroku smiled, "Yeah neither can we but, I have to get your sister and nephew to bed now, they need their sleep." Kohaku laughed and Sango huffed, "Hah, whatever, Miroku."

"Okay, well bye Miroku, bye Sango, I love you."

"I love you too."


	5. Chapter 5

OoOoOo

The next morning everyone woke up to the ground shaking. "Uh what's going on?" Sango yelled as they all sat up. "It's just the mountain demon, don't worry, it'll end soon." Kagome said grabbing on to the bed. Inuyasha let out a frustrated sigh, and Miroku rolled his eyes, "Dammit! I want to sleep. "

After a minute the ground stopped shaking, "What the hell was he doing?!" Inuyasha yelled. "He was just leaving; he always leaves whenever the full moon is coming…" Kagome explained, deep in thought. "Does that mean the full moon is tonight?" Sango asked worriedly. "I guess, I have miscalculated…" Kagome whispered, "Maybe if we leave now we can make it in time…"

The group stared at each other for another minute, and then started scrambling to get everything together so they could leave. "Where's the gem?" Sango called out, Miroku took the gem out of the box on the table and threw It over to her. She put it in her backpack. "Miroku, get the ramen!" Inuyasha yelled. The three ninjas got in their ninja suits and Kagome was slightly jealous, she didn't look as cool as them.

Once they were all packed they started to wandered through the forest, but the more they wandered the more thicker it got. "Shit! I forgot my katanna…" Sango muttered. Miroku pulled out two swords for his waist line, "You're so forgetful, Sango." He joked and handed her, her sword. They started to cut down the bushes, and vines, to make a clear pathway.

They walked until noon and then they took a break. They group sat in a circle and ate some food. Sango was looking through her backpack and took out the gem and looked at it curiously, "Miroku…" "Huh, what?" "This isn't the gem…" Miroku's eyes widened, "What? Y-yes it is dear…" He was more afraid of what she would do to him than the bigger problem. "No it's not!" Sango yelled and punched him on the head.

"That's not the gem!?" Inuyasha yelled. Kagome sighed, "I suppose Kikyo took the real one…" "So what now?" Inuyasha asked. "Well, I can guarantee you that she will be at the water fall tonight. She can't unleash its powers without the full moon." Kagome explained. "So we'll go up and take it from her and you'll destroy it." Sango said triumphantly. "Well, it probably won't be that simple but, yeah pretty much." Miroku said.

It was silent for another minute. "So what are we going to name the baby, huh?" Miroku asked smirking. Sango glared. "Okay, you don't want to talk about that, how about the wedding?" Miroku grinned. Sango deepened her glare. "Fine fine, we could plan the sex schedule, you know, with the baby and all-" Miroku was cut off, "Miroku stop!" Sango yelled standing up, "Let's get going," Sango huffed.

The group followed behind her. "So Inuyasha, once this mission is over, what will you do?" Kagome asked. "I'm thinking about moving into the city, I love this ninja stuff but, I want to get on with my life. Plus, after Sango has her baby," He whispered the next part, "She won't be able to continue this so, our group is going to have to split up…" Kagome noticed his sad tone, and nodded. "I've always wanted to move to the city. It seems so fun!" Kagome smiled. "Well why don't you?" Inuyasha asked. "Well, after this gem is destroyed I can. I've been waiting my entire life for this gem to be destroyed." Kagome said.

"What about you Miroku? What do you plan to do?" Kagome asked cheery. "Well _I _want to get married," He made sure Sango heard that, and she huffed, "Then, I want to leave the ninja village and raise our kid in a nice home." Kagome awed and smiled.

"Sango what about you?" Kagome asked. "I want to kill Miroku."

Miroku laughed and said, "Babe, you couldn't kill me, you love me too much." Sango suddenly attacked Miroku and pushed him into the bushes. Instead of hurting him she kissed him. "Sango, whoa! What the hell!" Miroku yelled. "They're going to have sex… let's go…" Inuyasha said pulling Kagome away.

"Miroku, I need you now!" Sango yelled. "Well, that was random…" Miroku muttered. "Now!" Sango yelled, taking off his ninja suit. "I love you being pregnant." Miroku sighed happily.

OoOoOo

The group reached the bottom of the water fall at 9. "So what do we do now? We don't even have the gem." Inuyasha huffed. "We wait for it." Miroku said sitting down. They waited for an hour until finally a group started marching toward them. "Is that them?" Sango whispered to Miroku, who nodded in return.

"Kikyo! Give us back the gem! It must be destroyed!" Kagome yelled. Kikyo laughed, "Nope." They group of four sweat dropped, "Well fine! We'll just take it!" Inuyasha yelled, jumping in front of Kikyo and kicking the gem out of her hands, Miroku caught the gem. He held it up to examine it, and Naraku pushed it out of his hands. A minion caught it and laughed, Kagome pushed his back and he fell forward, causing the gem to fly in the air. Everyone just stared at the gem, Sango realized she was closest to it and happily yelled, "I got it!" She jumped in the air and caught it but, she didn't realize how close to the river she was, and she fell right in.

Miroku and Inuyasha busted out into laughter and Kagome ran over to help her out. "I've got it…" Sango muttered stepping out of the river. She looked like an angry cat who just took a bath.

Kagome took the gem and Inuyasha ran over to her, "Let's go!" Kagome jumped on his back and they jumped to the top of the water fall. "Sango, quit being a baby and help me!" Miroku yelled as he knocked out to minions. Sango flipped her way over to Miroku and helped him knock out the minions.

Miroku watched Sango fight, she was so graceful. She did a back flip and then squatted and kicked the minion's leg and he fell over, she then knocked him out by throwing a rock to his head. Suddenly Miroku was hit behind the head and he got knocked out. "Naraku." Sango growled. She pulled Naraku by his hair, "Ow! Ow!" She dragged him to the river and dunked him in. She kept his head under the water until she was sure he wasn't breathing.

"Wow… that was so easy." Sango muttered walking away. She tried to pick up Miroku but she couldn't bear his weight. "God! And you said I was fat!" Sango yelled, She dragged him as far as she could then she pulled out a sticky note and pen from his back pack that was sitting on a rock.

_Left to the top. Sorry couldn't bring you, fatass. See you later fatty. –your baby momma_

She stuck the note to his forehead and then climbed up the rocks. Once she got to the top she saw Inuyasha push Kikyo down the cliff. "Gosh, everyone's dying so easy today." Sango mumbled walking toward Inuyasha and Kagome. "So you can destroy it now?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome nodded, pulled out an arrow, threw the gem up and shot it. The little pieces of the gem all fell into the waterfall.

"That's it…?" Inuyasha asked clenching his fist. "Yup!" Kagome smiled. Inuyasha sighed. Sango sweat dropped. "Hey you jerks! How dare you leave me!" Miroku yelled stepping onto the edge of the rocks. "Sorry, you were too fat," Sango muttered slowly stepping away from him.

"You are unbelievable! I had sex in a poison ivy bush for you, you stupid cunt!" Miroku yelled. Inuyasha laughed, Kagome looked disgusted, and Sango was shocked, "Wait what…" "You didn't notice?" Miroku asked pulling up her sleeve, she saw the rash on her arm. "What the hell! Why didn't you say anything, stupid!" Sango yelled, slapping him. Miroku sighed sheepishly, "I was really horny…" Everyone sighed.

**A/N: So it's almost over! One or two more chapters coming up. Anyways I know this was like the stupidest fight scene ever but i wanted it to be funny. soooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyy. But yeah(: Thanks for reading. **

**xoxoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

OoOoOo

"So boss, we need to talk…"

"What is it?"

"We all want to resign."

"Why is that?"

Inuyasha, Miroku, and Sango all looked at each other.

"I want to move to the city."

"I'm pregnant."

"I want to settle down."

Sesshomaru looked at them and nodded. "I'm sure we could work something out then."

OoOoOo

Two months later

"Kagome, how did this pervert even talk me into marrying him…" Sango sighed, Kagome was doing her makeup. "Oh Sango! You know you love him!" Kagome cheered. The wedding was in two hours, they booked a really nice hotel in Tokyo with a great view. Apparently ninjas got paid really well.

"Anyways, when are you and Inuyasha moving into your new apartment?" Sango asked smiling. Kagome blushed, "Next week. You'll help us move in right?" "We can't," Sango put her hand on her now extremely swollen belly, "But Miroku said he would." The girls smiled at each other.

**Meanwhile**

"Is there something we should be doing?" Inuyasha asked Miroku who was lying on the couch in his apartment. "Like I would know," Miroku rolled onto his stomach.

_Ring ring ring bitch!_

"How's it going over there?" Kagome asked, Inuyasha looked confused, "Huh?" Kagome sighed, "Tell Miroku he's getting married in two hours. And get ready you idiots." Kagome hung up the phone.

"Oh that's what it was!" Inuyasha yelled. Miroku looked at him, "What?" "Your wedding! It's in two hours." "Whatever, I'm not a girl. I don't take 24 hours to get ready." Miroku huffed and rolled of the couch and literally rolled into the bathroom. "What did I just see…" Inuyasha muttered.

OoOoOo

Sango and Miroku were standing at the altar; they had just finished saying the vows when the priest said that Miroku was going to tell Sango his own vow. Sango looked at Miroku disgusted thinking it was going to be something stupid. "Don't worry, Sango, this isn't going to be stupid." The crowd laughed. Miroku took out a piece of paper from his pocket, "To my dearest, Sango. I know you think that I'm just a flirting, perverted man but, I promise to you here and now, that I won't ever cheat on you. How could I even? When I look at you I see heaven, I think, I won't need anything else but you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life and only you. Now, I can't say I won't ever love anyone else as much as I love you," Sango's mouth hit the ground and she was about to yell at him and slap him but then Miroku put his hand on her belly, "But I can say, it won't be the same type of love I have for you." Sango's face softened, and she smiled at him. Sango whispered to him as the crowd cheered, "I love you." He whispered back, "I love you too."

"So Sango, do you take Miroku as your lawfully wedded husband?" Sango smiled, "I can't believe I'm saying this but I do." "And Miroku, do you take Sango as your lawfully wedded wife?" "Of course I do!" Miroku grinned. "Then I pronounce you husband and wife you may kiss your bride. I introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Houshi." Miroku Kissed Sango like a fairytale and then they walked down the aisle.

OoOoOo

**One week later**

"Ughhhhh dammit Miroku! Take me to the hospital now, bastard!" Sango groaned. "Babe! You're not even nine months yet!" Miroku yelled. "Ever hear of an early baby! Ugh! Fuck you! I'm going by myself then!" Sango stood up and started to wobble out the door. Miroku ran after her, "What do you mean 'early baby'?"

"How are you feeling?" Miroku asked brushing Sango's bangs out of her face. "I've been better." Sango mumbled. "Well, can you feel anything?" Miroku asked. "No." "Okay good, that means the epidural worked." Miroku muttered, "Sorry, Sango, I didn't know babies could come early." "Miroku, you don't know anything." Sango sighed closing her eyes. "I know that." Sango laughed.

There was a knock on the door and a nurse came in, "You have visitors," The nurse let in some people. Inuyasha, Kagome, and even Kohaku. "Hey sis, you look like you're having an awesome time!" Kohaku joked. Sango blushed and hid her face in her hands, "Ehhh what are all of you doing here?" "We came to see you… because we love you… duh…" Inuyasha said confused. "She's embarrassed." Miroku stated. "Why?" Kagome whispered. Miroku pointed to her legs, "She feels exposed."

Sango's legs were spread out wide, but they were covered by a thin blanket. "Sango! This is a natural thing, don't be embarrassed!" Kagome cheered. Sango sighed and then put her hands on her belly. "I'm having a contraction and it doesn't even hurt," Sango smiled.

Everyone laughed. "Give me some ice chips, slave!" Sango yelled, and threw her arm towards Miroku. Miroku sighed and handed her the cup full of ice chips and a spoon. "No. Feed me. You're my bitch now, do as I say." Sango opened her mouth. Miroku frowned and feed the ice chips to her.

"Okay Sango, let's check how much you're dilated!" The nurse smiled. "Everyone, get back! You don't want to see this!" Sango yelled at her friends. They all moved to the top part of Sango. The nurse pulled the blanket up around her knees and checked. "Well Sango, I think it's time to start pushing!"

"I think it's time to start killing Miroku…" Sango muttered when the nurse left. Miroku looked at Sango, with a fearful look. "Please don't…" "Well good luck!" Inuyasha said walking out. "Hurry up! We want to see that cute little baby!" Kagome shouted as she walked out. "Be careful Miroku!" Kohaku ran out.

OoOoOo

"It's a girl!" Miroku and Sango looked at each other confused. "No wait it's a boy!" Sango laughed, "He has your dick size!" Miroku growled. The nurses wrapped up the baby and handed him to Sango, "Hey, he's actually kind of cute…" Miroku looked at her, "What? You thought he was going to be ugly?" "Well, you re his dad…" "I guess he takes after you then." Miroku winked ignoring her put down.

"Shush. He doesn't like it when you talk," Sango muttered. "Oh and he does when you do. Yeah right, miss man voice." Sango glared at Miroku. "Can I carry him?" Miroku asked. Sango lifted up the baby to Miroku, who took him with caution. "What should we name him?" Miroku asked, staring at his son. "How about, way hotter than Miroku." Sango suggested as serious as she could. "How about, Sango's a total bitch." Miroku said looking at her, as serious as she was. "Touché."

"You two are so weird! Usually couples are always so lovey dovey but you two act like you can't stand each other!" The nurse laughed. "We hate each other." Sango smiled at Miroku. "It's how we show our love." Miroku smiled back at her.

**A/N: Well it's over! Thanks for reading and i hoped you liked it (:**

**xoxoxo**


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